The Tailor...
In a tailors drawer you can find all kinds of things, needles, thread, fabric, scissors, and the list goes on, and on... I think thats an appropriate name for a web page where there is nothing fixed, where someone can come out with daily ideas, of any kind, surprises and even get in trouble for sharing one´s thinking... I have been willing to write and share thoughts, there might be someone interested on them, so I hope, and share and build based on the way we think. That´s the reason of the name.
The Day...
Every morning I wake up with dreams and ideas that question every thing that I live and i go through, the great thing about all this dreams is that the reality brings more coincidences that I never expected, ever since my mother died this year, my dreams and ideas have become clearer and vivid. Sometimes I get confused by the stories built in my head, that give me a lot of sources for meditating or just thinking during the day. When the day is over, bed calls and in between sheets and feeding my dog, i prepare my stage for whatever my subconscious will bring me overnight.
I have a dog since he was 8 weeks, and yes, He, I honestly can´t refer to him as IT, he is so important, and has saved so much in my stressful times, that his company an love has been like if a real person understanding me has lived for the las 8 years close to me. His eyes and his expressions, his details and funny things make my life enjoyable. He is a dog, I wish he was a person, because I think that he understands more than I think he does. English Bulldog, he is a magnet everywhere I go, and from petting him to have him running all the sudden towards people to greed them, putting his little but to have the scratch him, makes my social life spontaneous and fun. (He just farted under my desk).
I tried three times to end my own life, before I had a chance to mature and understand the meaning of things that I was making drama out of them. My dog, his face, his presence help me to decide and stay alive until today. My dreams, as soon as I wake up at 3 or 5 am, wake me up just to hear his snoring. I smile and watch him so peaceful, while I can´t even keep sleeping. I keep promising myself to get rid of facebook, and every morning the phone and the stories catch me and I catch myself caught for the first hour of the day. What a waste of time! I repeat everyday. My treadmill still getting mor dust on it and my ideas of losing weight keep growing.
The day...
Covid, quarantine and other worries fill the day, I want to keep going and find more exciting ideas and goals to accomplish what life requests, but honestly, there are days that a beer or two, take more attention than pursuing happiness and fulfillment. (Wine gets in the way most of the days) I enjoy a good meal and I cook for myself, I read and prepare my thoughts to share what I think in faith and coherence, would be a good idea to help whoever is going thorough human drama.
I have faith, there is no doubt, I believe, and I rely on that one that I talk avery day, it does not mean that I am faithful to him as I should, but such is life, imperfect, filled with desires and frustrations. At the end He is there, and I know it!
Why would I doudbt, two nights ago, I finally watched the Devil's Advocate, scary, and something to think about. Our ideas and concepts are sometimes well defined by a good movie. I laughed, I apologized and kept watching, I go angry and kept watching, at the end, majesticly vanity was the word that made me think of a good theme to think about and dream overnight, I thought I was not going to dream about that, but I had all the intention to do so.
Al Carvajal